We all have our views; our understanding of life, God (and His Word), marriage and even our view of ourselves. We live most of our lives with our core value system defined by our upbringing or by a decision later in life to alter what we believe and who we choose to be and how we decide to act. No one forces us to act or behave other than us.

We typically find a spouse based on who we are and what we expect them to be. We are also often times wrong in our assumptions and there is rarely a clearer way to find this out than to get married and life live with another person. The things we thought we knew so much about we tend to realize there is another, just as strong, point of view.

So we either reconcile our views based on other evidence or we “agree to disagree”. Other times our views and others’ views appear irreconcilable and lead to decisions we never dreamed about earlier in our life.

Marriage problems usually start this way. We can’t see these differences because we are so “in love” or more often, in limerance (the stage commonly referred to as ‘infatuation’). But that ends and real life kicks in and now tough decisions remain. This is where true love comes in.
You’re probably reading this right now because you’ve experienced pretty close to what I’ve described above in your own marriage (and you’re probably wishing your spouse was the one reading this). But the real question today is if you are in the way of seeing the truth about you. All of us have to ask this question. Not only within our marriage but also our daily life and especially in our walk with Christ.

Take a look at what Paul says is his life in Galatians chapter 2

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

If we want our marriage to be loving, sustaining and fulfilling and we want our lives to be lived with purpose and vigor and more than anything, love, we have to get out of our own way and know that it is not me that is important, but God in me that should drive my way and light my path.

If we would live in the humility of the Cross we would see a change in our lives, our marriages and our testimonies. Our churches would be filled with enthusiasm, excitement and Christ-driven evangelism to win the lost, not with our great sermons but with our incredible love for His people and our lives lived in ways that show our commitment to Him.

But until, as individuals, we can get over ourselves and our pride and see that without God we are nothing but with Him we are driven with passion and purpose and vision, our marriages will continue to fail and our lives will continue to fall away from God’s plan for us.

This week can we all find ways to overcome ourselves so that we may see God more clearly? It is the best way to save the marriages that are hurting and to reconcile our life to the life God desires for us.

Seth

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