In my upcoming book Standing for My Marriage, The Step-by-Step Daily Guide and Journal for Developing a Better Life and a Healed Marriage I outline the ten major concerns faced when standing in faith for your marriage to be saved, healed and restored and how to overcome each of them. One of the most communicated messages that I see every day from those in need of a miracle to save their marriage is that of a feeling of fear. Most often, fear of the unknown.

We all deal with it from time to time in our life as we encounter struggles. This can be with the loss of a job or of moving to a new city away from the familiar and into the unknown. But when it’s within a marriage the fear is even more dramatic. For many it is based on years of marriage; a life that even though it may have seemed far from perfect was still your life, one that you were accustomed to and being without it seems a fear to great to even think about. When you do think about it as a possible reality the fear takes hold and is hard to release.

While the fear may seem well founded, there are many problems with letting it play out regularly in your mind. I am certainly not suggesting that you ignore reality and live in a world of denial, but accepting what is and being consumed with fear of what might be are two different things.

You can choose to walk day by day or you can choose to allow each day to be filled with anxiety and fear over an outcome that you cannot control (even though you may think you can). It is your choice.

Without doubt there will be times when you hear words from your spouse that twist your stomach in a knot or times that you find out about gossiping lips with you as the subject. You may read divorce papers or hear words of “I never loved you” or “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”. The reaction too many times is fear that you’re going to lose, that it’s all over, they’ve made up their mind and there’s nothing you can do. Maybe that’s correct. Maybe it’s not. Since you don’t get to write the end of their story, you actually don’t know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month or year. So why do people spend so much time worrying about it…allowing that negative energy to take hold of the positive steps they’ve made in their life so far?

It’s not uncommon for me to hear from those standing for their marriage who a few months ago could have no communication with their spouse; arguments, fights and divorce were the only discussion but just a few months later were talking again and even dating.

Time changes many things. When you incorporate God in that time the impossible becomes possible.

Don’t spend time fearing the future, even just tomorrow. Worry and fear hurt you and negate the time and effort you’ve put in to changing your thoughts and your decisions to trust, to have faith, love and hope. Don’t allow all the progress in your life to be slowed down by something you can’t even control.

When fear enters…stop, breathe, know that your faith is not in you or even in your spouse; it’s in God. Think of happier times. Then…smile. Making that effort can turn your entire day around.

Remember the words of Deuteronomy 31:6

Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

God bless you this week!

Seth

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