Understanding Controlling Spirits and Dealing with Control or a Controlling Spouse

Have you ever felt that you were being controlled or manipulated by someone? Do you have an excessive fear of being controlled? Do you think that you might be a domineering, controlling person yourself? What is the Christian’s response to these questions? Robert Liardon’s book, “Breaking Controlling Powers” deals with some of these questions.

First of all, not all control is negative control. We need positive control; ie, parents controlling children, governmental laws controlling criminals. But the primary type of control I want to address is negative control, either in the natural realm or in the demonic realm.

There are three principle methods to ensure control.
1. Emotional manipulation (examples: a baby crying to get his way, a boss going into a rage to intimidate an employee, a spouse giving the silent treatment to manipulate the other spouse)
2. Spiritual manipulation (examples: a false vision – for instance, Christ will return in 1988; false prophecies)
3. Word of failure and defeat, unnatural obligation, guilt, criticism, intimidation.
Jesus does not want you to be controlled in a negative manner by anyone. The Pharisees could not control Jesus, Peter or Paul. They all defeated the controlling spirits by being filled with the Holy Spirit. Controlling spirits working through people will try to keep your highest potential from being in God.

How do you know if you are being controlled?
1. If you feel physically drained.
2. If you feel like you are running a race but losing. Controlling people like to get you alone with them so they can program you. The cults use this method. The controller will give you reasons to get away from your pastor, your church and anyone else who might contradict the controller. They will only allow you to be around people with whom they can also control or with whom they know will be sympathetic to their ideas. A controlling person will deny that they are trying to control you and try to make you believe that all of the choices you make are purely your own.
4. If you feel you have lost your vision and you are depressed much of the time.
5. If you fear being controlled. This can be as controlling as actually being controlled. People who fear being controlled have a difficult time in discerning the difference between natural authority and un-natural control.
6. If you are willing to compromise your values to try to please another person.
7. If you “hide” or “run away” from a problem rather than confronting the controller over the situation. People who are controlled often feel they are too “weak” to confront the person controlling them and in their weakness will try to “hide” or “run” away from the problem.

What causes people to become controllers?
1. Hurts and wounds – People get hurt and vow not to get hurt again so they control their whole world.
2. Environment – People who grow up in an atmosphere of control tend to do the very thing they hate when they grow older.
3. Some people just choose to be controllers.
4. Pride
5. Insecurity
6. Laziness

How do you know if you are a controller?
1. If you feel the only way you can be important is to give orders or commands.
2. If you feel possessive toward other people.
3. If you do not let other opinions be voiced or discussed.
4. If you feel jealousy toward a person.
5. If you feel threatened over new relationships a person close to you has or finds.
6. If you are over-protective toward those near you.
7. If you try to dominate every area of a person’s life.
8. If you make plans for the person you control without his/her permission.
9. If you criticize every move and every statement the other person makes.
10. If you think the person you control owes you something, and you demand that he pay you back.
11. If you control people with flattery.
12. If your life totally revolves around nurturing and developing another human being.
13. If you begin having romantic feelings toward someone of the same sex, because the homosexual spirit is a very dominant spirit.

How do you get free from a controlling spirit?
1. Recognize that you are controlled.
2. Recognize how that person controls you.
3. Write down the corrections you will need to make in your thought patterns and actions to prevent control from happening in your life.
4. Remember that being controlled equals idolatry. The person who is controlling you has become your idol.
5. Realize that control is not only a psychological problem, but a spiritual problem.
6. Get counsel on how to be set free or you may over-react.